The Sad Yet Funny World Of Twitter DMs

All of us have experienced the annoying phenomenon of Automatic DMs on twitter. This is an irritating thing and I normally block anyone who does this to me. In today’s post, let us try to look at these and try and understand them, if that is possible at all. But let me tell you most of them are annoying and funny at the same time, I generally get pissed at first and have a hearty laugh later. So let us get straight into the matter without much ado then.

Stop Sign

How many times have you followed someone you thought looked interesting and shortly after you follow them, you get a direct message with a link to something?   Most of the time,  and this is what makes a lot of us angry about it, the link takes you to some “get rich quick” tool. Something they claim if you use you will get 40,000 followers within a matter of days. But believe me, these are just tips of the iceberg. There are far more irritating and dangerous ones out there.

The first and clearly the most annoying one is about some random person in Brazil finding the perfect solution for teeth whitening and how it is from the herbs in the Amazon! Well, my teeth are already white (at least partially I guess!) and why in the hell would I want Amazonian herbs in my mouth?

The next is the DM from some random person saying ” Look what this person is saying about you!  http://bit.ly/junklink “. Now that is interesting, it is almost as if my brother-in-law got on twitter and was watching my back. Wowee!!

Then there are the other interesting ones. My personal favorite is ” Look! I found the twitter money tree!! Wanna try?” . What the hell? Twitter has a money tree? And they didn’t tell me? I am gonna get my backpack out and go plucking money off the branches! I am a bit broke now! So…

Then there are the helpful Nigerians who send me links to their dead uncle’s page. Apparently he is a zillionaire and they need my bank account to transfer that money safely! They are ready to pay me a fortune! Today is my lucky day! Thank you Uncle!

Last week I got this “My name is Miss Gift, l saw your profile today and after going through it then l made up my mind to contact you as my friend. so l want you to write back”, I must be an idiot to miss Miss Gift. I mean, who misses a gift like that?

Then I had someone send me this message – “I’m not sure if you heard of the Penny Matrix yet. It’s a simple and super concept. Frankly, it’s a $7 Global Opportunity that pays out on 14 levels and 100% Matching Bonuses to Infinity”.  REALLY? Just $7!! Amazing! Where is my checkbook? Penny Matrix, here I come!!

Then there are the super prompt random people who will regularly send you updates about the incredible e-book that will change your life and make it like the King of Brunei for just $4.95! Really? I think His Highness would be highly offended by that! Who writes this stuff? And more importantly, what are they hoping to accomplish with these pointless messages? I am pretty sure that no one ever takes any of them seriously!

I think I will stop my rant now! Tell me about some DMs you got!